it's funny because it's funny

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

What happens when a black man dies in France? A funeral procession.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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