Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

why did the chicken cross the road? because aliens dont wear purple hats.

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

I agree to the terms and conditions

What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...