Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Mom I am so sorry I molested you yesterday. Im not your mom! Phew, wanna go out?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

j.p. is dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops