roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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Praise Paisley

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. He's not really a chicken, he's just called a chicken because he is always afraid.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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