- Anti Joke

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

A black guy and an apple fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? They both hit the ground roughly at the same time, because the acceleration due to gravity is constant.

What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

why did the clown stop laughing? because it got hit by an axe

What is a gremlin? A gremlin.

Yo mamma so black, she uses armor all instead of lotion...

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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