What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops