What do you give hobos? Febreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Patient: "Doctor, I have a strawberry stuck in my bum" Doctor: "Well, that's an awfully peculiar place to keep a strawberry. What were you thinking?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

say it ten times fast: oh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops