How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Tilt your screen back

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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