Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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A seal walks into a club.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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Where do you find a quadriplegic? Where you left him

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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A one armed blond is in a tree, how to you get her to come down? You wave to her?

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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