Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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