Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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Why did the garbage man cross the road? He was doing his job.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Ben has 3 apples and Charlie has 2 apples, how many carrots can fit in my anus? Banana, because cows have 4 legs

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

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Q: What did the man say when he tried to commit suicide by jumping off a 20 storie building? A: Ow!

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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Twinkle Twinkle little wh**e close youre legs youre not a door. youre gonna get an S,T,D, youree only wanted cause youre free... Twinkle Twinkle little Wh**e youre cheeper then the dollar store

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Knock knock Get off my porch homo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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