What did the parrot say to the dumb man? Nothing

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Your social life.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Did you hear that Jerry Sandusky won the swimming race? He's in very good shape for a man his age.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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What's white, black and tan? The people of planet earth.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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