Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

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What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

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Me

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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A blonde walks into a drycleaning store 2 pick up her clothes and as she walks out the empoyee says cum again and the blonde says shut up it was toothpast this time!!!!

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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Q: Guess what my Mom and Dad did last Night on the Kitchen Table.... A: Had Dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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