What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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A young baby died.

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a black man and a white man walk into a job interview. neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops