Facebook How i met my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +11

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama is so fat she died

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man goes to the doctor and is told, "you have cancer." He then spends his last days writing a bucket list, but losing his leg in a wood chipper before he could complete a single item on his list

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +11

silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are trees green? I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops