Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Justin's life

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is this website called anti-jokes? i don't know but it makes sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops