How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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If a llama walks into a jewelry store and a carrot has no feathers, then why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a car because chickens are simple creatures and don't understand the complex rules of the road.

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Heheheheh, Good one, you made me laugh, you just made me realize that it was indeed I that said that to you once, and now you are telling me. I know now, I am happy, not because I seek happiness, but because thinking, finding solutions, guiding myself and others, is what makes me happy. I feel like an alien, because my ideals, my solutions hopes and dreams that grow out of a result of my constant thinking, will never be in this world. Yet I also feel human now, because it could have been, humanity could have succeeded...

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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It's long!

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Why did they black straight guy go into an all white gay bar....? Because he went to the wrong place.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

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Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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go F*** yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops