TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A WOOD

The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

womens rights.

If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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