did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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You will NEVER guess what just happened!

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Joke

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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It says so on your cap.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

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If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

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Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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