What's brown and sticky? Anal

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what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

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"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

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Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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