I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Why did the man smoke pot in the roller coaster? Because he was dyslexic and read the sign wrong and thought it read "You must be high to go on this ride."

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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What does a man say to his annoying friend? Please stop annoying me now.

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j

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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the wild black man is searching for food. He spots a KFC, and goes wild. He then proceeds to get in line.

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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-Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The pest control guy. -Please leave me alone I'm giving birth.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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