What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why? Why Not?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Are you going to just stand there and watch me burn for i am on fire? Well that is fine because the sensation feels so fantastic. You are going to just stand there and listen to me whine the night away. It is quite okie-dokie for I really love your art of lying! To be certain, I love it very much! I can not find myself telling you what really occurred, I can only explain to you the sensation i felt from this moment. For I have a dagger in my trachea. For the number of days where the do not's fell like the actually do's. I will be very happy :). But where are you trying to walk away from. Than she told me she was leaving. I said no you very certainly are not! Megan Lady-who-sleeps-with-many-men (aka Whore) Fox. We find ourselves back on the day we met...... etc etc, lot's of pissed off Rapper vs. the English language. Than more words fly out of the mouth of the woman that said she "just wanted a hit" than got slapped around the ear by her ex. It is a pointless song. Today's youth is hopeless. (just kidding i love Eminem stay infinite for life)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops