Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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What do you get when you write your own anti-joke? Herpes.

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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Where are you going Your house

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Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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An English Grammar Expert writes a very intelligent essay.

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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What do you call a purple chicken eating a bicycle? A purple chicken eating a bicycle

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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A blind man walks into a bar----b wire

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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