where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock whos there johovas witness O-0

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -27

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops