What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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knock knock father: who's there? young man: it's I, your son. father: ....... what? young man: dad let me in, I'm sorry! father: i don't have a son.... young man: but.... i love you... father: get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Tom: So I heard a pretty good Anti-Joke the other day. Jim: Oh, I love those!! What was it? Tom: [says nothing]

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The Holocaust

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What did the kid say before he died Nothing he was terminally ill

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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