What can make you pee? Liquid

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Why did they call the woman crazy? because she drowned her children in a lake.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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What do you call a limbless woman on a beach? Sandy

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what do you call a baby in a blender? A really funny event.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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PSP... Is a cat... you can throw against the wall.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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knock knock whos there? orange orange who? orange you pissed off your wifes taking in the ass from another guy right now?

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 one years old to be in a bar.

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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whats the difference between you're mom and you're dad none there both the same

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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