How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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hi

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse then precedes to beat the bartender voraciously for making fun of his religion.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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