What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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did you know, that a Bear has 42 teeth? massive erection.

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all your base are belong to mark

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Womens rights

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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trumpy trumpy trump

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops