"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

What do you call a cow after an earthquake? Dead. The barn collapsed on top of it.

What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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