- Anti Joke

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

bees knees

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

"What's uhhh.". "Crap I forget" "Oh yeah! 32!"

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

Yo Mama so stupid because she's been addicted to marijuana since she was a teenager, and has lost many brain cells. Resulting in her forgetting simple things like your birthday, her own name, etc. She has also developed lung cancer. She's predicted to die in two months if she continues to smoke as she does now.

Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

whats small and tickles? pubic lice

what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

Chuck Norris screams in pain.

How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck