A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Did you hear about the little girl who got a bike for her birthday? Shes dying of Terminal Cancer

What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

There was a man that invited his uncle, his uncle his uncle his uncle, his uncle and his uncle spidey to a party. He was really dissapointed when he realized that not only was his invitation full of typos, but that he invited Peter Parker twice and forgot to invite spiderman.

I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

You killed my brother and call me the antichrist? Its lovable: Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the **** are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming? He died for their sins, not for yours... WELCOME TO HELL!

Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

Your moms so old. She might die soon

what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

Nice belt.

How do you make a businessman cry? Shoot him in the kneecaps.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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