Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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There once was a man who couldn't finish any sente

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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