Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What happened as a result of the bitter terrorist attack? The president began to devise a plan to help the abused child

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

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Why are all black people fast? because all the slow ones are in jail.

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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