A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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How do u know that your obese ? People stare at you

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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A man and his horse walk into a bar, he is told to leave because animals are not allowed on the property

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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