Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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Women's rights

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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an athiest walks into a church

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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WHAT????

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones Well maybe you shouldn't play in the tree anymore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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