your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Roses come in a variety of colors.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana Your parents must have little regard for your social identity because they named you after a tropical fruit. Either that or you are clinically insane. I am concerned; please leave.

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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how did the man die he didnt

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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