What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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what's gay as AIDS? The way you got it

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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