Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

meh

A Sloth runs...

What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

Cheese stick

why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

Knock knock Who's this? Your neighbor Yes can I help you? Hi, I'm new around here, can you help me find the closest gas station? Turn right over there pass 2 traffic lights it will be on your left Okay, thank you You're welcome

Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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