Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

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Justin Bieber.

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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who ever is reading this....

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops