Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

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Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

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Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

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You know what's funny? Clowns.

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Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

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How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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