Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down

King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

thumb_up thumb_down

I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

thumb_up thumb_down

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

thumb_up thumb_down

Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

thumb_up thumb_down

Where did the black man sleep? In his house with his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

thumb_up thumb_down

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down

A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops