Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

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Basically copying you.

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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Why do we need to keep answering encryption codes? Because you can't keep a good Jew down (Wyndellberg)

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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