A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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You have such a big heart (Girlfriend) The doctor's think dangerously so (Guy)

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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A Sloth runs...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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tom pauling

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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your moms my other ride

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1.....2.....3.....boom you died

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops