Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Nothing, fish can't talk and it died on impact.

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cancer

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What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

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Q. How did the man with no legs get to places? A. He didn't, he died at his house alone

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Woman's rights

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Penis.

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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Your mom.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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7

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops