How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you've been denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuble prizes.

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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It smells like triangles in here.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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