What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

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What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Who's there? A: The IRS and Child Protective Services

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What did the Neo-Nazi say to the Jew? Hello.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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69

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

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i hate anti-jokes ;)

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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