Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

A baby seal walked into a club.

Friends are like snow: If you piss on them, they disappear.

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

Penis.

Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

Paige

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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