Why did the moron jump through the window?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +214

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops