Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

the little pink lady joke: There once was a little pink lady who lived in a little pink house. One day, she was in her little pink bed when her little pink doorbell rang. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Green live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr White live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. And then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Brown live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Finally, its breakfast time, so the little pink lady gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, goes out of her little pink room and to her little pink kitchen. Inside, there are 3 men. 2 are eating cheerios, 1 is eating an apple. This proves that cheerios are more popular than apples!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Type 2 diabetics

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What can you never have for dinner? Breakfast and lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops