What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How old is your mom? Old.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops